{"id":78,"date":"2016-08-01T20:50:25","date_gmt":"2016-08-01T20:50:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/?p=78"},"modified":"2016-10-16T05:10:41","modified_gmt":"2016-10-16T05:10:41","slug":"short-lived-joy-and-miscarriage-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/2016\/08\/01\/short-lived-joy-and-miscarriage-1\/","title":{"rendered":"short lived joy and miscarriage #1"},"content":{"rendered":"

Over the next 48 hours I had more spotting.\u00a0 On Monday I called my doctor\u2019s office and notified them of my pregnancy.\u00a0 I spoke with a nurse who reassured me that the spotting was normal and that it wasn\u2019t concerning until I was \u201csaturating a pad.\u201d\u00a0 Saturating a pad? That seemed like a lot to me.\u00a0 I had friends who were TTC who were on progesterone supplements and asked if we should check my progesterone level due to the spotting.\u00a0 If your progesterone level is low, the pregnancy will not survive.\u00a0\u00a0 This nurse said that \u201cthey don\u2019t do that in this office.” I made my first appointments for 8 and 9 weeks, and my first ultrasound for 11 weeks, and tried to put my worrying brain to rest.\u00a0 The next few days were filled with so much JOY.\u00a0\u00a0 Tony made a point of carrying anything heavy and helping me into his truck or car so I wouldn\u2019t overexert myself.\u00a0 We started dreaming of what this little person would look like.\u00a0 We were due on September 29th<\/sup>, 2016.\u00a0 I pictured the Christmas card we would send out that year, the nursery d\u00e9cor, tiny little clothes and all the fun ways we would tell our friends and family.<\/p>\n

\"IMG_5335\"<\/p>\n

Through this JOY, I constantly had to talk my worrying brain down.\u00a0 I knew the statistics on miscarriage. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. \u00a0I had friends who went through one, two, three miscarriages before being blessed with a baby.\u00a0 I am a NICU nurse, trained to search for a tiny change in patient status that might alert to a bigger issue going on.\u00a0 In the world of neonates, timing is everything.\u00a0 Tiny doses, tiny details, tiny signs of trouble that you as the bedside nurse are there to notice. \u00a0You take note of these tiny details and alert the doctor if you feel that that tiny life is trying to tell you something. \u00a0I\u2019m not a good nurse that shift if I don\u2019t look for these tiny details because in a matter of minutes, or hours, that tiny life might be in trouble.\u00a0 That is the world that I know.\u00a0 So trying to ignore tiny details in my own life is very hard for me to do.\u00a0 God gave me Tony, my incredibly optimistic better half to help put things in perspective and ease my worry.\u00a0 I prayed in church that week that I would be strong and have great faith in God\u2019s plan for me.\u00a0 It became very clear to me in that week of unease that pregnancy for anyone, but especially for me, is a huge test of faith.\u00a0 Do I trust God?\u00a0 Do I trust that His plan for me is better than my plan for me?\u00a0 Do I trust that He will not let me fall in times of trouble?\u00a0 I crafted a felt banner that week that read \u201cWalk by faith, not by sight,\u201d and hung it at the bottom of the stairs.\u00a0 I prayed that I would have faith in the unseen and began to write letters to my baby in a daily journal.<\/p>\n

\"IMG_7503\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I went to work on Thursday February 6th<\/sup> and by 11am, I was no longer spotting, but bleeding.\u00a0 I was now full of doubt that this was \u201cnormal,\u201d and called my doctor.\u00a0\u00a0 I waited on hold, and realized how terrified I was of losing this little life already.\u00a0 We had known for barely a week.\u00a0 How could I be so attached to this little life?\u00a0 How could I have dared to dream so much in one week?\u00a0\u00a0 The nurse told me that it could still be \u201cfine- that bleeding can be normal.\u201d\u00a0 I told her I was a NICU nurse and that I did not believe this was “normal.” \u00a0I asked again about testing my progesterone level and she shot me down, again.\u00a0 She told me that I could go get my beta HCG level drawn, and that they like to see it double in 48 hours. \u00a0But this was a Thursday and I wouldn\u2019t be able to go on a Saturday for the second one. \u00a0 She put me on hold again, and when she returned she told me that they could work me in for an ultrasound at 9am the next morning.\u00a0 I was supposed to work.\u00a0 I found my old preceptor, who is the unit matriarch and broke down crying, begging her to cover for me the next day.\u00a0 She agreed in an instant.\u00a0 I barely slept that night.<\/p>\n

The next morning, Tony and I met at my doctor\u2019s office for our ultrasound.\u00a0 I\u2019d read that at 6 weeks pregnant you are supposed to see a gestational sac and embryo.\u00a0 Tony was so optimistic. \u00a0\u00a0I was trying to be, but my fear was louder than my faith in that moment and I remember feeling my heart pounding harder than it ever had before.\u00a0\u00a0 I tried to take deep breaths but I was terrified and fear was winning.\u00a0 We were called into the ultrasound room met the tech.\u00a0 I laid back and took Tony\u2019s hand as the cold transvaginal probe went in.\u00a0 We looked up at the TV screen mounted on the wall.\u00a0 There was nothing there.\u00a0 No sac. No baby.\u00a0 The tears began to well up in my eyes.\u00a0 The tech said that it could still just be too early, and the doctor would be right in.\u00a0 It was a doctor who I hadn\u2019t met before.\u00a0 I work with most of the OB\u2019s in this practice, attending deliveries that require NICU assistance.\u00a0 He was unfamiliar to me.\u00a0 He came in, sat down and asked me to describe what had been going on.\u00a0\u00a0 I told him about the cramping all week, the spotting on and off, and then the increase in bleeding as the day went on yesterday.\u00a0 Oddly enough on the day of the ultrasound, I had no cramping or bleeding.\u00a0 He looked at the scan and said that my lining was \u201cvery thick\u201d and that I had definitely been pregnant, but that he believed that I had had a miscarriage.\u00a0 There was no sac or baby to be seen and there should at least be a sac.\u00a0 I remember feeling like I was outside of my own body when I let out this wail and just started sobbing uncontrollably.\u00a0 Tony started then too- never letting go of my hand.\u00a0 The nurse practitioner who I normally saw for annual exams came in the room next, and asked if she could sit with me.\u00a0 That meant the world.\u00a0 She told me her first pregnancy was ectopic and now she had a healthy baby.\u00a0 She told me I was young, and had so much time.\u00a0\u00a0 The doctor chimed back in with \u201cthere was probably something wrong with it- you know? You\u2019re a nurse.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have to tell you these things.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cThis is just nature\u2019s way.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Yes I was a nurse.\u00a0 And yes I knew these things.\u00a0 Did I want to hear them now? No.\u00a0 I remember asking the doctor if it was over.\u00a0 Would I have any pain or bleeding? He was non committal in his answer saying that I \u201cmight.\u201d\u00a0 He told me that we could stay in the room as long as we needed and that when we were ready to go to the waiting room and wait to be called back for my lab test.\u00a0 He wanted to confirm that the HCG was low, and have me go back in a few days to confirm that it was dropping.\u00a0 Tony and I wept together in that dark room, and when we felt as though we had no more tears, we headed out to the waiting room.\u00a0 We were told it would be a short wait.\u00a0 But it wasn\u2019t.\u00a0 I think we sat there for a good thirty minutes, red faced and puffy eyes, avoiding eye contact with anyone who might see us on the worst day of our lives.\u00a0 Finally I was called back and had my lab draw done.\u00a0 I remember the lab tech was very nice and shared that she had high hopes for me.\u00a0 That was comforting to hear. \u00a0 After that, walked to the car, feeling completely numb.\u00a0 I checked my phone.\u00a0 My dear co-workers were standing by waiting for the news.\u00a0\u00a0 I told them that I had in fact miscarried and they told me that they would pick up my assignment and handle it.\u00a0 They sent their love and told me to go home and take care of myself.\u00a0 They were a Godsend that day.\u00a0\u00a0 Tony drove, and I felt numb until he said \u201cI didn\u2019t know how badly I wanted to be a dad until now.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Picture the love of your life saying something like that to you.\u00a0\u00a0 It erases any moments of verbalized doubt about \u201cbeing ready\u201d from the past and highlights how much this hurts. Not just for you and your quite literally aching womb, but for your husband and his once full heart feeling less full.\u00a0\u00a0 We both began to weep again, saying how happy we had been knowing that little life was coming.\u00a0 It was awful.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure how he saw through the tears to get us home safely, but he did.\u00a0 My rock.\u00a0 He had to run to campus for a quick meeting that is now referred to as the most inconveniently timed meeting of his career but we agreed it was one that he shouldn\u2019t miss.\u00a0 Before he left, he told me he loved me and he waited until my mom picked up the phone when I called her.\u00a0\u00a0 Most of you reading this know that my mom and I are best friends.\u00a0 We share the same style of thinking, faith, laughter and we have planned so much life together over the years.\u00a0 She shares my JOY\u00a0<\/strong>and my pain with me in everything I do.\u00a0 She lives across the country, so I had been waiting to tell her that I was pregnant via Skype (she doesn\u2019t have an i phone…) so I could see her reaction. \u00a0 She didn\u2019t know I was pregnant. \u00a0When I told her, \u201cI had a miscarriage\u201d my mom, whom I am extremely close with, said \u201cyou were pregnant?\u201d\u00a0 She couldn\u2019t wrap her head around what I was saying to her.\u00a0 And that\u2019s how I think too.\u00a0 I take a while to process news such as this, and unfortunately for me, my mom was very slow at processing this information that day.\u00a0\u00a0 She had never had a miscarriage.\u00a0 She and I share everything.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t know what to say.\u00a0\u00a0 Later that day she apologized for not knowing what to say.\u00a0\u00a0 I crawled into bed and tried to nap.\u00a0 I felt so exhausted.\u00a0\u00a0 Grief has the overwhelming ability to suck every ounce of life out of you.\u00a0 I texted close friends and they were for the most part wonderful.\u00a0 One of my dearest friends had experienced two miscarriages the year before and she said the most amazing things to comfort me.\u00a0 She totally got it.\u00a0 Every aspect of what I was feeling.\u00a0 And she survived each one of her miscarriages.\u00a0 She told me I could do this.\u00a0 That I would be okay, and that she was there for me no matter what I needed. \u00a0 (Thanks a million BG!) Tony returned home and we got lost in a pizza, ice cream cake and a movie.\u00a0 The tears flowed on and off but it was nice to be distracted.\u00a0 When I crawled in bed that night, I had so much trouble falling asleep.\u00a0 It was below freezing outside and I began to have hot flashes and chills and mild cramping. At 4am I called in sick to work.\u00a0 I had been up all night and I felt horrible.\u00a0 I took 2 benadryl and had a small snack and crawled back in bed.\u00a0 5 hours later I woke up in the worst pain of my life.\u00a0 I felt like I was dying.\u00a0 My insides were on fire.\u00a0 I texted my miscarriage survivor and said that I was in so much pain.\u00a0 She told me to get a heating pad and take 800 mg of ibuprofen immediately.\u00a0 Tony ran to the store and came back with fluids and a heating pad.\u00a0 I have not experienced the pains of labor, but the pain I felt was what I imagine labor would feel like.\u00a0 I was experiencing intense contractions and bleeding.\u00a0 I remember sitting on the toilet and feeling like my organs were just going to fall out one by one.\u00a0 The combination of the mind numbing physical pain and the aching emotional pain was absolutely devastating. \u00a0Also, fear of the unknown most definitely amplified the pain. No one prepared me for how much it would hurt. \u00a0 I survived that day with my husband on one side, my dog on the other, the heating pad on my lap, and the tiny sliver of reassurance that my body was doing what it needed to do to heal completely on its own.<\/p>\n

\"IMG_5365\"\u00a0In the days that followed, I felt every emotion possible- and then some. \u00a0I probably felt emotions that have yet to be defined by experts.\u00a0 \u00a0I remember feeling so angry on one particular morning.\u00a0 I was in the middle of moving clothes from the washing machine to the dryer when all of a sudden I felt enraged.\u00a0 I began slamming the door over and over again to the dryer.\u00a0 My poor little dog and my husband were not a fan of this behavior.\u00a0 To them, I was not acting like myself at all.\u00a0 Who is this angry blonde in our kitchen, slamming doors over and over again?\u00a0 Tony finally said something to snap me out of my anger and I felt horribly ashamed.\u00a0 I ran into the living room and fell onto the floor in a heap and just sobbed.\u00a0 Bless his heart, I don\u2019t think Tony knew what to do with me that morning.\u00a0 He gave me space, all the while staying within a reasonable distance to make sure I was okay.\u00a0 When I felt that I had cried all the tears that I could, I sat up and blankly stared out our front window.\u00a0 I remember thinking to myself, \u201chow is the world still going on?\u201d \u201cWhy does this ever happen?\u201d \u201cDid this really happen?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cDid I make this all up?\u201d\u00a0 I remember feeling like it was all a dream on many occasions.\u00a0 And yet the doorbell would ring, and each bouquet of flowers or card sent to the house would instantly bring tears to my eyes because it reminded me that it really did happen.\u00a0 We really did lose our first baby. \u00a0Flowers and cards meant the world to me.\u00a0 It meant that someone outside of our little family recognized how deep a loss it was.\u00a0 It meant that someone else outside our home acknowledged and honored the little life we once knew.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Over the next 48 hours I had more spotting.\u00a0 On Monday I called my doctor\u2019s office and notified them of my pregnancy.\u00a0 I spoke with a nurse who reassured me that the spotting was normal and that it wasn\u2019t concerning until I was \u201csaturating a pad.\u201d\u00a0 Saturating a pad? That seemed like a lot to me.\u00a0 I had friends who were TTC who were on progesterone supplements and asked if we should check my progesterone level due to the spotting.\u00a0 If your progesterone level is low, the pregnancy will not survive.\u00a0\u00a0 This nurse said that \u201cthey don\u2019t do that in this office.” I made my first appointments for 8 and 9 weeks, and my first ultrasound for 11 weeks, and tried to put my worrying brain to rest.\u00a0 The next few days were filled with so much JOY.\u00a0\u00a0 Tony made a point of carrying anything heavy and helping me into his truck or car so I wouldn\u2019t overexert myself.\u00a0 We started dreaming of what this little person would look like.\u00a0 We were due on September 29th, 2016.\u00a0 I pictured the Christmas card we would send out that year, the nursery d\u00e9cor, tiny little clothes and all the fun ways we would tell our friends and family. Through this JOY, I constantly had to talk my worrying brain down.\u00a0 I knew the statistics on miscarriage. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. \u00a0I had friends who went through one, two, three miscarriages before being blessed with a baby.\u00a0 I am a NICU nurse, trained to search for a tiny change in patient status that might alert to a bigger issue going on.\u00a0 In the world of neonates, timing is everything.\u00a0 Tiny doses, tiny details, tiny signs of trouble that you as the bedside nurse are there to notice. \u00a0You take note of these tiny details and alert the doctor if you feel that that tiny life is trying to tell you something. \u00a0I\u2019m not a good nurse that shift if I don\u2019t look for these tiny details because in a matter of minutes, or hours, that tiny life might be in trouble.\u00a0 That is the world that I know.\u00a0 So trying to ignore tiny details in my own life is very hard for me to do.\u00a0 God gave me Tony, my incredibly optimistic better half to help put things in perspective and ease my worry.\u00a0 I prayed in church that week that I would be strong and have great faith in God\u2019s plan for me.\u00a0 It became very clear to me in that week of unease that pregnancy for anyone, but especially for me, is a huge test of faith.\u00a0 Do I trust God?\u00a0 Do I trust that His plan for me is better than my plan for me?\u00a0 Do I trust that He will not let me fall in times of trouble?\u00a0 I crafted a felt banner that week that read \u201cWalk by faith, not by sight,\u201d and hung it at the bottom of the stairs.\u00a0 I prayed that I would have faith in the unseen and began to write letters to my baby in a daily journal.   I went to work on Thursday February 6th and by 11am, I was no longer spotting, but bleeding.\u00a0 I was now full of doubt that this was \u201cnormal,\u201d and called my doctor.\u00a0\u00a0 I waited on hold, and realized how terrified I was of losing this little life already.\u00a0 We had known for barely a week.\u00a0 How could I be so attached to this little life?\u00a0 How could I have dared to dream so much in one week?\u00a0\u00a0 The nurse told me that it could still be \u201cfine- that bleeding can be normal.\u201d\u00a0 I told her I was a NICU nurse and that I did not believe this was “normal.” \u00a0I asked again about testing my progesterone level and she shot me down, again.\u00a0 She told me that I could go get my beta HCG level drawn, and that they like to see it double in 48 hours. \u00a0But this was a Thursday and I wouldn\u2019t be able to go on a Saturday for the second one. \u00a0 She put me on hold again, and when she returned she told me that they could work me in for an ultrasound at 9am the next morning.\u00a0 I was supposed to work.\u00a0 I found my old preceptor, who is the unit matriarch and broke down crying, begging her to cover for me the next day.\u00a0 She agreed in an instant.\u00a0 I barely slept that night. The next morning, Tony and I met at my doctor\u2019s office for our ultrasound.\u00a0 I\u2019d read that at 6 weeks pregnant you are supposed to see a gestational sac and embryo.\u00a0 Tony was so optimistic. \u00a0\u00a0I was trying to be, but my fear was louder than my faith in that moment and I remember feeling my heart pounding harder than it ever had before.\u00a0\u00a0 I tried to take deep breaths but I was terrified and fear was winning.\u00a0 We were called into the ultrasound room met the tech.\u00a0 I laid back and took Tony\u2019s hand as the cold transvaginal probe went in.\u00a0 We looked up at the TV screen mounted on the wall.\u00a0 There was nothing there.\u00a0 No sac. No baby.\u00a0 The tears began to well up in my eyes.\u00a0 The tech said that it could still just be too early, and the doctor would be right in.\u00a0 It was a doctor who I hadn\u2019t met before.\u00a0 I work with most of the OB\u2019s in this practice, attending deliveries that require NICU assistance.\u00a0 He was unfamiliar to me.\u00a0 He came in, sat down and asked me to describe what had been going on.\u00a0\u00a0 I told him about the cramping all week, the spotting on and off, and then the increase in bleeding as the day went on yesterday.\u00a0 Oddly enough on the day of the ultrasound, I had no cramping or bleeding.\u00a0 He looked at the scan and said that my lining was \u201cvery thick\u201d and that I had definitely been pregnant, but that he believed that I had had a miscarriage.\u00a0 There was no sac or baby to be seen and there should at least be a sac.\u00a0 I remember feeling like I was outside of my own body when I let out this wail and just started sobbing uncontrollably.\u00a0 Tony started then too- never letting go of my hand.\u00a0 The nurse practitioner who I normally saw for annual exams came in the room next, and asked if she could sit with me.\u00a0 That meant the world.\u00a0 She told me her first pregnancy was ectopic and now she had a healthy baby.\u00a0 She told me I was young, and had so much time.\u00a0\u00a0 The doctor chimed back in with \u201cthere was probably something wrong with it- you know? You\u2019re a nurse.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have to tell you these things.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cThis is just nature\u2019s way.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Yes I was a nurse.\u00a0 And yes I knew these things.\u00a0 Did I want to hear them now? No.\u00a0 I remember asking the doctor if it was over.\u00a0 Would I have any pain or bleeding? He was non committal in his answer saying that I \u201cmight.\u201d\u00a0 He told me that we could stay in the room as long as we needed and that when we were ready to go to the waiting room and wait to be called back for my lab test.\u00a0 He wanted to confirm that the HCG was low, and have me go back in a few days to confirm that it was dropping.\u00a0 Tony and I wept together in that dark room, and when we felt as though we had no more tears, we headed out to the waiting room.\u00a0 We were told it would be a short wait.\u00a0 But it wasn\u2019t.\u00a0 I think we sat there for a good thirty minutes, red faced and puffy eyes, avoiding eye contact with anyone who might see us on the worst day of our lives.\u00a0 Finally I was called back and had my lab draw done.\u00a0 I remember the lab tech was very nice and shared that she had high hopes for me.\u00a0 That was comforting to hear. \u00a0 After that, walked to the car, feeling completely numb.\u00a0 I checked my phone.\u00a0 My dear co-workers were standing by waiting for the news.\u00a0\u00a0 I told them that I had in fact miscarried and they told me that they would pick up my assignment and handle it.\u00a0 They sent their love and told me to go home and take care of myself.\u00a0 They were a Godsend that day.\u00a0\u00a0 Tony drove, and I felt numb until he said \u201cI didn\u2019t know how badly I wanted to be a dad until now.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Picture the love of your life saying something like that to you.\u00a0\u00a0 It erases any moments of verbalized doubt about \u201cbeing ready\u201d from the past and highlights how much this hurts. Not just for you and your quite literally aching womb, but for your husband and his once full heart feeling less full.\u00a0\u00a0 We both began to weep again, saying how happy we had been knowing that little life was coming.\u00a0 It was awful.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure how he saw through the tears to get us home safely, but he did.\u00a0 My rock.\u00a0 He had to run to campus for a quick meeting that is now referred to as the most inconveniently timed meeting of his career but we agreed it was one that he shouldn\u2019t miss.\u00a0 Before he left, he told me he loved me and he waited until my mom picked up the phone when I called her.\u00a0\u00a0 Most of you reading this know that my mom and I are best friends.\u00a0 We share the same style of thinking, faith, laughter and we have planned so much life together over the years.\u00a0 She shares my JOY\u00a0and my pain with me in everything I do.\u00a0 She lives across the country, so I had been waiting to tell her that I was pregnant via Skype (she doesn\u2019t have an i phone…) so I could see her reaction. \u00a0 She didn\u2019t know I was pregnant. \u00a0When I told her, \u201cI had a miscarriage\u201d my mom, whom I am extremely close with, said \u201cyou were pregnant?\u201d\u00a0 She couldn\u2019t wrap her head around what I was saying to her.\u00a0 And that\u2019s how I think too.\u00a0 I take a while to process news such as this, and unfortunately for me, my mom was very slow at processing this information that day.\u00a0\u00a0 She had never had a miscarriage.\u00a0 She and I share everything.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t know what to say.\u00a0\u00a0 Later that day she apologized for not knowing what to say.\u00a0\u00a0 I crawled into bed and tried to nap.\u00a0 I felt so exhausted.\u00a0\u00a0 Grief has the overwhelming ability to suck every ounce of life out of you.\u00a0 I texted close friends and they were for the most part wonderful.\u00a0 One of my dearest friends had experienced two miscarriages the year before and she said the most amazing things to comfort me.\u00a0 She totally got it.\u00a0 Every aspect of what I was feeling.\u00a0 And she survived each one of her miscarriages.\u00a0 She told me I could do this.\u00a0 That I would be okay, and that she was there for me no matter what I needed. \u00a0 (Thanks a million BG!) Tony returned home and we got lost in a pizza, ice cream cake and a movie.\u00a0 The tears flowed on and off but it was nice to be distracted.\u00a0 When I crawled in bed that night, I had so much trouble falling asleep.\u00a0 It was below freezing outside and I began to have hot flashes and chills and mild cramping. At 4am I called in sick to work.\u00a0 I had been up all night and I felt horrible.\u00a0 I took 2 benadryl and had a small snack and crawled back in bed.\u00a0 5 hours later I woke up in the worst pain of my life.\u00a0 I felt like I was dying.\u00a0 My insides were on fire.\u00a0 I texted my miscarriage survivor…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":90,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-78","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-journey-to-parenthood"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/IMG_5362.jpg?fit=663%2C663&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8oEBX-1g","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=78"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":513,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78\/revisions\/513"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/90"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=78"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=78"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=78"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}