{"id":223,"date":"2016-08-27T17:01:20","date_gmt":"2016-08-27T17:01:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/?p=223"},"modified":"2016-08-27T20:50:07","modified_gmt":"2016-08-27T20:50:07","slug":"giving-it-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/2016\/08\/27\/giving-it-up\/","title":{"rendered":"giving it up"},"content":{"rendered":"

That weekend Tony and I continued to chip away at our #summerbucketlist16. \u00a0On it was “dining alfresco.” \u00a0We celebrated our 3rd anniversary at The Carriage House in South Bend. \u00a0It is an old church, converted into an upscale restaurant that boasts a southern vibe. \u00a0In the summer, you can dine outside in their gardens and listen to live music. \u00a0 We headed there for dinner Saturday night, as the weather was perfect! \u00a0We walked the gardens and listened to the guitarist while we waited for our dinners to arrive. \u00a0I remember telling Tony, “Maybe it will be okay. \u00a0Maybe my level will quadruple on Monday.” \u00a0For that weekend, we were pregnant. \u00a0This baby was due March 16, 2017. \u00a0Tony and I got engaged on March 17th (St. Patrick’s Day) and I couldn’t help but hope that it our due date would bring good luck.<\/p>\n

\"IMG_7287\" \"IMG_7290\" \"IMG_7298\"<\/p>\n

We enjoyed date night, and then headed to the grotto at Notre Dame to pray for our rainbow baby. \u00a0I felt some peace, but also felt some unease still. \u00a0I wondered about the cramping sensation and the spotting. \u00a0Could this baby still be trying to implant? \u00a0Should I start taking baby Aspirin just in case? I wanted to do everything I could do to help this baby, and at the same time I wanted to let go- and let God be in control.<\/p>\n

\"IMG_7303The next morning we attended church and I remember just feeling exhausted. \u00a0There was so much worry and so much hope at the same time and it was overwhelmingly draining. \u00a0I had the courage to stop praying for this baby to make it, and start praying for God’s will to be done. \u00a0I was too worked up about the survival of this pregnancy and not focused enough about doing God’s will. \u00a0Though it pained me to pray it at the time, I gave it up to God and prayed that His will- not mine be done. \u00a0I felt mildly relieved. I felt that it was no longer up to me (as it never is)- that it was entirely in God’s hands (as it always is) and that I could just BE. \u00a0 It was so emotional that morning, but it felt good. \u00a0It felt like I stopped fighting against forces that I had no control over. \u00a0“Your will be done” became my mantra for those next 24 hours in between church and my next lab appointment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

That weekend Tony and I continued to chip away at our #summerbucketlist16. \u00a0On it was “dining alfresco.” \u00a0We celebrated our 3rd anniversary at The Carriage House in South Bend. \u00a0It is an old church, converted into an upscale restaurant that boasts a southern vibe. \u00a0In the summer, you can dine outside in their gardens and listen to live music. \u00a0 We headed there for dinner Saturday night, as the weather was perfect! \u00a0We walked the gardens and listened to the guitarist while we waited for our dinners to arrive. \u00a0I remember telling Tony, “Maybe it will be okay. \u00a0Maybe my level will quadruple on Monday.” \u00a0For that weekend, we were pregnant. \u00a0This baby was due March 16, 2017. \u00a0Tony and I got engaged on March 17th (St. Patrick’s Day) and I couldn’t help but hope that it our due date would bring good luck. We enjoyed date night, and then headed to the grotto at Notre Dame to pray for our rainbow baby. \u00a0I felt some peace, but also felt some unease still. \u00a0I wondered about the cramping sensation and the spotting. \u00a0Could this baby still be trying to implant? \u00a0Should I start taking baby Aspirin just in case? I wanted to do everything I could do to help this baby, and at the same time I wanted to let go- and let God be in control. The next morning we attended church and I remember just feeling exhausted. \u00a0There was so much worry and so much hope at the same time and it was overwhelmingly draining. \u00a0I had the courage to stop praying for this baby to make it, and start praying for God’s will to be done. \u00a0I was too worked up about the survival of this pregnancy and not focused enough about doing God’s will. \u00a0Though it pained me to pray it at the time, I gave it up to God and prayed that His will- not mine be done. \u00a0I felt mildly relieved. I felt that it was no longer up to me (as it never is)- that it was entirely in God’s hands (as it always is) and that I could just BE. \u00a0 It was so emotional that morning, but it felt good. \u00a0It felt like I stopped fighting against forces that I had no control over. \u00a0“Your will be done” became my mantra for those next 24 hours in between church and my next lab appointment.    <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":25,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-223","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-journey-to-parenthood"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/image-10.jpeg?fit=4032%2C3024&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8oEBX-3B","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/223","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=223"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/223\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":254,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/223\/revisions\/254"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/25"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=223"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=223"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=223"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}