On Monday, 7.11.16, I found out I was pregnant with our rainbow baby. \u00a0I drove to the lab, had my hcg and progesterone drawn, picked up my progesterone and headed home to rest, and await test results. \u00a0My amazing doctor’s office called me that afternoon with my levels. \u00a0My first hcg was 57. \u00a0My heart sank. \u00a057? That seemed so low to me. \u00a0No wonder my first pregnancy test didn’t show up as positive. \u00a0The nurse reassured me that one level by itself means nothing, and that we would see what it did in 48 hours. For those of you who don’t know, your hcg hormone (the one that shows up on a home pregnancy test) doubles every 48 hours in the early weeks of pregnancy. My progesterone level was “borderline,” so my nurse recommended staying on the daily supplementation if that was okay with me. \u00a0I told her that she couldn’t pay me any amount of money to stop taking it. \u00a0 That’s the thing about progesterone- it’s the predominant hormone in your first trimester of pregnancy and if you have too little… it’s very bad. \u00a0You can’t have “too much” progesterone. \u00a0I was experiencing some mild cramping that week still, but no spotting. \u00a0I googled cramping during early pregnancy again and was again reminded that it CAN be normal during those early weeks.<\/p>\n
![\"IMG_7815](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/IMG_7815-1.jpg?resize=300%2C225\")
<\/p>\n
That night I felt a little discouraged with my low hcg level, but as the nurse told me, maybe I just implanted later than I thought, or maybe we conceived later than I thought. \u00a0On Wednesday 7.13 I went into the lab attached to my hospital to have another level drawn. \u00a0I was feeling extremely nauseated that morning and was very encouraged by that feeling! \u00a0That afternoon, I was able to see the level online. \u00a0It went from 57 to 109. \u00a0It was a few points short of doubling, but I was ecstatic! Maybe this was going to be okay after all! \u00a0 My nurse encouraged me to go again Friday, which I was happy to do. \u00a0I got to discharge two little NICU twins that day who are extremely close to my heart. \u00a0Their mother, who survived two miscarriages herself, is now a friend who encouraged me daily as much as I hope I encouraged her! \u00a0I got to send her home after weeks and weeks of living in the NICU and told her as we were walking out that I was pregnant. \u00a0She celebrated with me and continued to be in touch as the days went on. \u00a0 She strengthened my faith and helped me believe that week! (Thanks a million L.P.!)<\/p>\n
![\"IMG_7811](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/IMG_7811-1.jpg?resize=300%2C225\")
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Every morning as I am eating my egg white omelette and turkey bacon, I read my daily excerpt from Jesus Calling<\/em>. \u00a0The 7.15 reading was meant for me that day. \u00a0“Do not worry about tomorrow!” \u00a0I drove to work that morning hopeful, with a plan to trust more that day. \u00a0I went in and got my level drawn after getting report on my patients. \u00a0I prayed that my hcg would double, and I could enjoy this pregnancy in the upcoming weekend without worry. \u00a0I was fully embracing HOPE that afternoon that everything was okay, and took time to enjoy the blessing of another pregnancy, and another opportunity to bring our child into this world. \u00a0It was my third 12 hour shift in a row that day, and by the end of the afternoon I was feeling it. Frustratingly enough, our entire hospital electronic medical record went down that day, so I wasn’t sure if I would be able to see my lab result from that morning or not. \u00a0But at 4:30 pm I was able to see it. \u00a0 It should have been 218, but my level was only 186. \u00a0 \u00a0Still a rise, but not a great one. \u00a0A feeling of complete dread washed over me. \u00a0Was this really a sign of another miscarriage to come? \u00a0I had hardly been able to enjoy the thought of this baby and here it was- more doubt. \u00a0My nurse called within minutes of my seeing the result and I ducked into the hallway to talk to her. \u00a0 She was still encouraging, but I could hear a little more unease in her voice than last time. \u00a0 She said that it was good that it was still rising. \u00a0She said to go again on Monday, and hopefully we would see another rise. \u00a0I confided in a coworker what was going on, as my mood obviously changed for the rest of my shift. \u00a0(Thanks for being there P.E.!) \u00a0The next time I went to the bathroom, I noticed that I had started spotting. \u00a0Not a lot. \u00a0But this was the first spotting I saw since the implantation spotting. \u00a0I first noticed spotting in the same bathroom at work with baby c. 1.0 back in February. \u00a0All I could think in that moment was: this is not happening again<\/em>.<\/p>\n I texted my tribe\u00a0of people praying for baby c. 2.0 with the news. \u00a0First and foremost, my Tony. \u00a0Then my mom and sister, NICU mom friend, miscarriage sisters and close friends. They were all so encouraging and told me that they would lift us up in prayer over the upcoming weekend and to not lose HOPE. \u00a0And Tony was just happy with the rise. \u00a0I plotted my numbers out on the babymed.com hcg calculator (yes… there’s such a thing) and it still said that my 70% increase was “normal.”<\/p>\n There were so many storms that week in the Midwest. \u00a0I kept seeing pictures of rainbows that friends would post. \u00a0That Friday when I left work, it was raining but the sun was out. \u00a0Conditions were perfect for a rainbow. \u00a0I stood in the hospital parking lot searching the sky for my rainbow- a sign that things might be okay, but\u00a0I didn’t see one.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" What is a “rainbow baby?” Google defines a ‘rainbow baby’ as “a baby that is born following a miscarriage, still birth, neonatal death or infant loss. In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives HOPE of things getting better. \u00a0The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison.” On Monday, 7.11.16, I found out I was pregnant with our rainbow baby. \u00a0I drove to the lab, had my hcg and progesterone drawn, picked up my progesterone and headed home to rest, and await test results. \u00a0My amazing doctor’s office called me that afternoon with my levels. \u00a0My first hcg was 57. \u00a0My heart sank. \u00a057? That seemed so low to me. \u00a0No wonder my first pregnancy test didn’t show up as positive. \u00a0The nurse reassured me that one level by itself means nothing, and that we would see what it did in 48 hours. For those of you who don’t know, your hcg hormone (the one that shows up on a home pregnancy test) doubles every 48 hours in the early weeks of pregnancy. My progesterone level was “borderline,” so my nurse recommended staying on the daily supplementation if that was okay with me. \u00a0I told her that she couldn’t pay me any amount of money to stop taking it. \u00a0 That’s the thing about progesterone- it’s the predominant hormone in your first trimester of pregnancy and if you have too little… it’s very bad. \u00a0You can’t have “too much” progesterone. \u00a0I was experiencing some mild cramping that week still, but no spotting. \u00a0I googled cramping during early pregnancy again and was again reminded that it CAN be normal during those early weeks. That night I felt a little discouraged with my low hcg level, but as the nurse told me, maybe I just implanted later than I thought, or maybe we conceived later than I thought. \u00a0On Wednesday 7.13 I went into the lab attached to my hospital to have another level drawn. \u00a0I was feeling extremely nauseated that morning and was very encouraged by that feeling! \u00a0That afternoon, I was able to see the level online. \u00a0It went from 57 to 109. \u00a0It was a few points short of doubling, but I was ecstatic! Maybe this was going to be okay after all! \u00a0 My nurse encouraged me to go again Friday, which I was happy to do. \u00a0I got to discharge two little NICU twins that day who are extremely close to my heart. \u00a0Their mother, who survived two miscarriages herself, is now a friend who encouraged me daily as much as I hope I encouraged her! \u00a0I got to send her home after weeks and weeks of living in the NICU and told her as we were walking out that I was pregnant. \u00a0She celebrated with me and continued to be in touch as the days went on. \u00a0 She strengthened my faith and helped me believe that week! (Thanks a million L.P.!) Every morning as I am eating my egg white omelette and turkey bacon, I read my daily excerpt from Jesus Calling. \u00a0The 7.15 reading was meant for me that day. \u00a0“Do not worry about tomorrow!” \u00a0I drove to work that morning hopeful, with a plan to trust more that day. \u00a0I went in and got my level drawn after getting report on my patients. \u00a0I prayed that my hcg would double, and I could enjoy this pregnancy in the upcoming weekend without worry. \u00a0I was fully embracing HOPE that afternoon that everything was okay, and took time to enjoy the blessing of another pregnancy, and another opportunity to bring our child into this world. \u00a0It was my third 12 hour shift in a row that day, and by the end of the afternoon I was feeling it. Frustratingly enough, our entire hospital electronic medical record went down that day, so I wasn’t sure if I would be able to see my lab result from that morning or not. \u00a0But at 4:30 pm I was able to see it. \u00a0 It should have been 218, but my level was only 186. \u00a0 \u00a0Still a rise, but not a great one. \u00a0A feeling of complete dread washed over me. \u00a0Was this really a sign of another miscarriage to come? \u00a0I had hardly been able to enjoy the thought of this baby and here it was- more doubt. \u00a0My nurse called within minutes of my seeing the result and I ducked into the hallway to talk to her. \u00a0 She was still encouraging, but I could hear a little more unease in her voice than last time. \u00a0 She said that it was good that it was still rising. \u00a0She said to go again on Monday, and hopefully we would see another rise. \u00a0I confided in a coworker what was going on, as my mood obviously changed for the rest of my shift. \u00a0(Thanks for being there P.E.!) \u00a0The next time I went to the bathroom, I noticed that I had started spotting. \u00a0Not a lot. \u00a0But this was the first spotting I saw since the implantation spotting. \u00a0I first noticed spotting in the same bathroom at work with baby c. 1.0 back in February. \u00a0All I could think in that moment was: this is not happening again. I texted my tribe\u00a0of people praying for baby c. 2.0 with the news. \u00a0First and foremost, my Tony. \u00a0Then my mom and sister, NICU mom friend, miscarriage sisters and close friends. They were all so encouraging and told me that they would lift us up in prayer over the upcoming weekend and to not lose HOPE. \u00a0And Tony was just happy with the rise. \u00a0I plotted my numbers out on the babymed.com hcg calculator (yes… there’s such a thing) and it still said that my 70% increase was “normal.” There were so many storms that week in the Midwest. \u00a0I kept seeing pictures of rainbows that friends would post. \u00a0That Friday when I left work, it was raining but the sun was out. \u00a0Conditions were perfect for a rainbow. \u00a0I stood in the hospital parking lot searching the sky for my rainbow- a sign that things might be okay, but\u00a0I didn’t see one. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":231,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-210","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-journey-to-parenthood"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/IMG_7822.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8oEBX-3o","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/210","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=210"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/210\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":232,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/210\/revisions\/232"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/231"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=210"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=210"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=210"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"IMG_7285\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hopemeetsjoy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/IMG_7285.png?resize=169%2C300\")
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