Every human deserves a trip like the one I just returned from. I can’t remember the last time that I felt as relaxed as I did at the end of March. One of my closest friends MT and I decided to meet in our favorite type of destination: the beach. We researched a few options but ended up choosing Myrtle Beach, South Carolina after finding a sweet deal on Expedia. We both had a connecting flight in Atlanta and were able to fly the second leg of flight together. Leading up to this trip, our house was plagued with a nasty stomach virus. I got hit HARD the day after Fiona’s…
-
-
post partum identity crisis
I had the opportunity to go out for drinks with a coworker and explore a new area of Boston one night last month. She texted me the night before to see if we were still on and my first inclination was to say no and stay home instead. It would be easier to put Fiona down to bed and get comfy on the couch in my sweats next to Tony while getting lost in the latest Netflix original series. That was a wake up call for me. I quickly texted back “of course!” and took a step back. WOAH. I NEEDED to get out. I’m a home body by nature and…
-
parenthood
Nearly one year ago our rainbow baby came into this world on the eve of St. Patrick’s Day. I often wondered during my pregnancy if the longing for a rainbow baby would make parenthood seem much more glamorous than its raw reality. Would I have days that left me regretting my choice to become a parent? Would those days leave me feeling like I wanted my old life back? Would I have quality time for conversations and nights out with my husband, or would I be consumed in rainbow baby land, unable to pull myself out of the feeling that my baby needed me at all times? Would the NICU nurse in…
-
we are all mothers
Is this my first Mother’s Day? Yes. But no. Fiona made me a mother this year in the sense that I can physically hold her, comfort her and nurture her. I can respond to her cries, dry her tears and kiss her incredibly smooth cheeks. But this year I am really a mother five times over. What? Those two little babes gone too soon made me a mother in 2016. And let’s not forget my two spoiled rotten fur babies who made me a mother in 2013 and 2017. Mother’s Day has been painful for the last few years. Church was a place I came to avoid on Mother’s Day…
-
fiona’s birth story
It was a gorgeous 74 degree sunny spring day in Kansas City. We were scheduled for an 8pm induction at the hospital and I was determined to make the most of my day at home. I took my exercise ball and some light weights outside and enjoyed soaking up some Vitamin D. I felt very calm that day- praying and leaning on the bunches of good luck texts from loved ones. (Thanks everyone!) When Tony got home from work I prepped a light meal as instructed and we passed the time by rewatching some episodes of New Girl, just the four of us. At 5:45pm the hospital called and…
-
the story behind her name
So while we were on our “we’re not pregnant so why not?” vacation in Ireland, we stopped in a bookstore to search for a souvenir for our nephews. Tony picked up a book called A Dublin Fairytale and we browsed through it. It was about a little girl named Fiona. I looked up at Tony and said, “if we ever have a baby someday, and she happens to be a girl, I kind of like this name.” Tony agreed. 2 days later I was officially “late,” bought a test and it was positive. That day we said again, “if it is a girl, we should name her Fiona.” At 14…
-
the “i” word
Induction. You probably have strong feelings about it. Whether it’s fear, dread, acceptance, embrace etc., it is a word that many women do NOT want to hear at the end of their pregnancy. Why? “Inductions lead to a higher C-section rate.” “Inductions are unnatural.” “Inductions force your baby to come out before they are ready.” But are these statements actual facts? Or opinions? In trying to become pregnant or being pregnant in the last 2.5 years, I’ve learned that there are too many topics in pregnancy and motherhood that separate us into monumentally different camps. The exclusive breastfeeding/pumping camp vs. the formula feeding camp. The sleep training camp vs. the co-sleeping…
-
BABY month! 37 weeks and counting…
Holy moly. It’s March! I can hardly believe that it’s here, and yet this baby’s delivery day can’t come soon enough! Baby girl is officially “term” at 37+ weeks and this momma is getting antsy. Baby C. has looked great on ultrasounds and her non-stress tests (minus the one incident below…) and my blood sugars have all been within the normal range (even with my birthday treat!) These last few weeks are going to be a challenge for me. Her room is ready, our hospital bags are mostly packed, our car seat is installed, clothes are washed etc. Mentally, I feel spent. I was doing SO well keeping my NICU nurse anxiety at…
-
the third trimester so far…
“Hello third trimester, and goodbye toes,” is the saying. For me, it’s more like “welcome back mood swings” instead. I mean don’t get me wrong, the toes are LONG gone, but “all the feels” doesn’t even begin to cover it. 12 weeks… (5.5 as I’m actually writing this) until we meet our rainbow baby. One who we have “fought and prayed for.” Will it really be as amazing as we hoped it would be? Will the struggle of TTC and the heartache of infertility help us to push past the sleepless nights and periods of baby girl’s crying? Or will we feel like “normal” parents who are sent home from…
-
thank you, 2017
What. A. Year. 2017 has FLOWN by. To give this post perspective I read my “goodbye 2016” post again, and recommend that you do the same if your heart is currently longing for that pregnant belly. http://hopemeetsjoy.com/index.php/2017/01/02/goodbye2016 I welcomed 2017 with a hopeful, yet weary heart. I felt that so many decisions were in my hands in terms of pursuing fertility testing in the remaining months with the OB practice that I trusted. In the end, in the months of January – April, I chose to take clomid, and have follicle study ultrasounds done each month learning how “ready” my follicles looked for ovulation. In March and April, I had Tony give…
