we are all mothers

Is this my first Mother’s Day? Yes. But no.
Fiona made me a mother this year in the sense that I can physically hold her, comfort her and nurture her. I can respond to her cries, dry her tears and kiss her incredibly smooth cheeks. But this year I am really a mother five times over. What?

Those two little babes gone too soon made me a mother in 2016. And let’s not forget my two spoiled rotten fur babies who made me a mother in 2013 and 2017.

Mother’s Day has been painful for the last few years. Church was a place I came to avoid on Mother’s Day because even as in touch with the afterlife as churches can be, I was never acknowledged as a mother before this year. No one ever had the women who mourned the loss of pregnancy stand to acknowledge their being a mother. No one spoke for those who physically couldn’t achieve motherhood that year. And no one passed out a carnation to the woman who lost a child beyond pregnancy, whose heart aches above all.

Are you a mother? Is there someone or something in your life who you support, nurture, love unconditionally? Do you put their or its needs above your own? Do you pray that someday your future Mother’s Days might become more tangible in nature so that others might be able to acknowledge your “first” Mother’s Day?

I’ve been there. And yes, I am blessed beyond measure this year to be holding my little bundle of joy in my arms. But I cannot ever forget the longing of my soul to be a mother, or the pain that I felt on this day of all days before this year.

To all of us who are mothers in one way or another: I see you, and wish you the happiest of Mother’s Days to you and yours.