14 weeks. What a milestone. I remember thinking, “if I can just make it until 10 weeks… then 12… then 14… then 16… maybe this baby has a chance.” My new doctor’s office was nice enough to let me come in for a Doppler heart rate check every 2 weeks, with the understanding that if I needed to come in weekly or was just feeling anxious, all I had to do was call and come in.
14 weeks: baby is the size of a “brilliant beet” or a My Little Pony. At 14 weeks and 5 days Tony and I set up our tripod in our backyard and rigged our cell phones and my Canon to it. We decided that instead of having a few close friends over to watch and document the reveal that we wanted it to just be the two of us. It ended up being perfect. Earlier that day I remember that numb feeling again. I was nervous to know- nervous to bond with this little babe, yet I craved knowing as much as I could about him or her. We set off a test cannon first- full of streamers and confetti in all colors. We were both surprised by the force and the height of these cannons. I got incredibly nervous before we set off the reveal cannon. We were thinking, and wanting a girl…. what if I saw blue confetti come shooting out? But that cannon went off… and our reactions were priceless. Baby Cunningham is a GIRL! #bringonthebows
15 weeks: babygirl is the size of an AVOCADO! If you know me… I’m obsessed with avocado and guacamole. This week was especially sweet to me. I began pinning things on a secret “babygirl” board that were pink and frilly and I truly had so much fun.
16 weeks: babygirl is the size of a dill pickle. Doppler heart rate check: 160 beautiful beats per minute. She continues to have a fast resting heart rate just like her mama. This week I craved apples + peanut butter and sweet potatoes. 16 weeks + 6 days… I feel something super abrupt and fluttery in my lower abdomen. Was that baby?
17 weeks: babygirl is the size of a “tangy pomegranate” and goes on another plane ride. Tony had travel plans to Boston and since I had never been, I decided to join him. Was I nervous to fly? Yes. Did it go okay? Yes. Back before getting pregnant for the third time I swore that I would never get on a plane while pregnant for fear of miscarriage, blood clots etc. God laughed, because I found out in a foreign country and had no choice but to fly across the globe very early on in my pregnancy. And that was her 4th flight since we conceived. I prayed that she could handle more air travel, and she did. Boston was super cool. I got to hang out with a bestie and her sweet 14 month old and do some sightseeing! I walked all over that city before posting up next to the Boston Harbor as I ate a cup of clam chowdah. Delish.
October 15th- PAIL Wave of Light
October 15th was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. I participated in the “wave of light,” lighting a candle at 7pm with hopefully millions of others honoring PAIL. As I got my photo of our clock and candle, I looked down and saw my protruding bump. I thought of how so much had changed since my last “Wave of Light.” Life is so fragile, so unpredictable, so devastating and so hopeful. I was thankful for this bump, and for the journey that lead me to share my story and embrace all aspects of it.
18 weeks: babygirl is the size of a sweet potato!!! (Dang… that’s actually getting pretty big!) This is the week that I would have gone for another Doppler check had I stayed on my biweekly schedule, but I thought I’d give it a try to wait until our 20 week appointment. I don’t know that it was worth it. I nearly bought my own Doppler twice that week and felt anxious enough to google fetal movement at 18 weeks only to leave me feeling like I wasn’t feeling baby move enough. But some more googling made me happy that I felt anything at all. Highlight of this week? Ross Dress for Less maternity finds! Target is about the only semi-affordable place to buy maternity clothes in person, so when I stumbled upon the maternity section at a local Ross… let’s just say that I tried on almost everything. I ended up getting this cute Preggers tee as well as two pairs of full belly panel jeans, a pair of leggings and some basic tees. I’m pretty happy with everything so far!
19 weeks: babygirl is the size of a zucchini! This week was about prepping for my 20 week appointment. I was so rushed to find an OB when I first moved that there was no “interviewing” of potential docs (does anyone even do that?) about their delivery styles etc. Being a NICU nurse, I am 100% against having a vacuum placed on my baby’s head to help pull them out at the very end. No way in the world. I’ve trained Tony that in the event of my passing out, if anyone comes near my kid with a vacuum that he is supposed to take them out. So I started to prep my list of questions. And then I got to thinking about the ultrasound, and was pretty freaked out about the amount of information that we would learn. Is baby growing as much as my belly? Is she growing proportionally? Is her anatomy normal? Is she actually moving? Where is my placenta located? All of these things would be answered at my next appointment! It was a thrilling and terrifying realization at the same time. Highlight of this week? On my last night shift before my ultrasound appointment, I was sitting at a nurses’ station charting when I began to feel a series of little kicks on my right side. I stopped and put my hand over the kicks and just embraced the moment. Then, a stomach churning sensation as I can only imagine was babygirl doing a somersault and flipping over completely. I was ecstatic, and began to be super excited about our upcoming ultrasound.
