14 weeks. What a milestone. I remember thinking, “if I can just make it until 10 weeks… then 12… then 14… then 16… maybe this baby has a chance.” My new doctor’s office was nice enough to let me come in for a Doppler heart rate check every 2 weeks, with the understanding that if I needed to come in weekly or was just feeling anxious, all I had to do was call and come in. 14 weeks: baby is the size of a “brilliant beet” or a My Little Pony. At 14 weeks and 5 days Tony and I set up our tripod in our backyard and rigged our cell…
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pregnancy after loss: the first trimester
After a loss, there is no point throughout your pregnancy that you feel “safe.” Sure, that milestone of making it further than you ever did before is a big one. Making it to 12 weeks feels amazing. Making it out of the first trimester and watching your bump grow is unreal. But no matter how much joy you feel one day, the next day might be filled with dread and doubt. I hesitated announcing our pregnancy at all because I know how painful it was for me to see countless pregnancy announcements while I was struggling to make sense of my own journey. But I shared this blog for a…
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Our Irish Surprise
In the month leading up to our Irish vacation, I had never felt so much stress, sadness and excitement all at once. My emotions were all over the place- between being completely exhausted from packing, and emotionally drained from saying goodbye to my family of coworkers, I was kind of a mess. Add a day trip to Kansas City for a mandatory health physical for my new job, which entailed a 4 hour round trip drive to Midway from South Bend, renting a car in Kansas City and two flights, and I was spent. Tony didn’t have it any better as he defended his dissertation and wrapped up his requirements…
