I’ve learned in these past months that if you try ignore an emotion, feeling or thought, it comes back around in full force. Science tells us that anxiety triggers a release of stress hormone, called cortisol which raises blood pressure, heart rate and sometimes releases adrenaline. When you try ignore a scary thought or reality, your brain sends another message to your stress response system and sends out a stronger wave of cortisol in the attempt to get you to pay attention. Ignore it again, and you will face a stronger wave and so on. This is how a worrisome thought can lead to a panic attack. I’ve had my moments…

There are no words, but I will try. The feelings that I had upon making my private struggle public, left me speechless.  Last Saturday I hit “post” and “share” and immediately felt a wave of emotions overcome me.  I felt sick to my stomach, dizzy, shaky and hung on tight as a roller coaster of adrenaline swept over me. Back when I started writing for my own healing and understanding, I had always planned on sharing my blog eventually through Instagram.  I wanted to help my family and friends understand my point of view.  Instagram is my social media of choice nowadays, but Facebook is another story. When Facebook first came out when…

“How very quietly you tiptoed into our world, silently, only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint your footprints have left upon our hearts.”  -Unknown. This post is dedicated to all parents who have experienced the earth-shattering heartache that is pregnancy and infant loss,  to the millions of women who are longing to hold a “rainbow baby” in their arms, to the couples who struggle to find peace and understanding within their relationship after loss, and to those tiny little babies who leave this world much too soon.    I am opening up today to bring awareness to this often silent grief that plagues so many women.   I…

“It is not joy that makes us grateful, it is gratitude that makes us joyful.” -David Steindl-Rast. How easy it is for us to long for something we do not have.  In a world of social media and commercials, we are bombarded by glimpses of what others possess,  Often the very first thing we do upon waking is check social media.  We might see a new car, remodeled house, skinnier body, designer hand bag, baby bump, clearer skin, luxurious vacation photos, and the list goes on.  We live in a world of air brushing and apps that whiten your selfie smiles.  We are hyper-critical of others and ourselves, often longing for our…

“But no one could tell me that- the problem with infertility is that it is not a patient, serene kind of waiting, not a simple delay in your plans; it happens for many of us in the context of consuming struggle, staggering expense, devastating loss.  It’s sometimes years of trying and failing, which erodes any feelings of confidence or anticipation of a positive outcome.”  –The Art of Waiting, Belle Boggs. When I reconnected with my breaking point last week, I knew that I needed a change.  After the first miscarriage, I wanted to get away- far away to a sandy beach somewhere.   After finding the Calm app, and religiously practicing…