My lab results came back as “normal.” The air quotes are there because a couple of things were on the higher end of “normal.” My fasting glucose was 100 which is on the higher end of normal, so Dr. C is having me start on Metformin 1x per day with dinner. It helps me process blood sugar which can help with healthy ovulation among many other functions. My vitamin B12 was also elevated, and I am only currently taking a prenatal vitamin with a normal dosage of vitamin B12. The interesting thing about B12 is that an elevated level can identify types of cancer, but it can also mean that my body is Vitamin B deficient because my body is unable to convert Vitamin B12 into the usable form. When I googled (I know… I shouldn’t have) elevated b12 and miscarriage, I didn’t get anything worthy of further reading. More on that later. I saw all of these results online on Sunday, and was hoping to hear from the office the next day. 
They did call on Monday- but just to schedule me for a “lab review” session with a nurse practitioner. Earliest availability that worked with my schedule? A MONTH from lab day. I was devastated. I feel like I had been through enough waiting. I paced around the house a few times and decided that I had to call back and leave a message for Dr. C’s nurse. I wanted to know if we could try again? If I should come in for another appointment to discuss a plan? Would we be doing anything different this time? So I did, and I spoke with Dr. C’s nurse later that afternoon. She is lovely. She asked me what was going on, and I told her that I couldn’t wait a month to go over lab work- everything appeared to be “normal” to me- so I wanted to know if we could try again. I wanted to know about baby aspirin, and should I be taking clomid, or anything else to boost my chances for a healthy next pregnancy. She said that she would discuss my questions with Dr. C and get back to me soon.
A few days later, (after playing phone tag due to work schedules) she called me back. She told me about the Metformin during this conversation. She also said to start on baby aspirin now, and to plan on using ovulation predictor kits so we can better “time” the baby dance. Once I see a positive LH surge, we are to do the baby dance the next day. Two days after “timed” baby dancing, I will start taking progesterone. Once I see a positive pregnancy test, I will start Heparin injections twice per day until 36 weeks, then switch to lovenox up until delivery. Is it a perfect plan that is guaranteed to work? Of course not. But today there is a plan, and we are going to do a few things differently this time around.
To say that this aspect of my life is all consuming is a huge understatement. Try as I might, it has been very hard to trust in God’s plan lately. Our small NICU has been plagued with several cases of child services detaining infants lately- beautiful infants that I hold and soothe when they are upset. This has made it even harder to be at work. I have said from the beginning of my nursing career that I would only ever work in NICU. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else, and I still can’t. But congratulating mother after mother on the birth of their child just HURTS now. I told tony that I wasn’t sure if I could continue being a NICU nurse while we were going through this journey. He told me, “well that would be a damn shame. You’re really good at it, and the families love you.” God love him for saying that. It keeps me going.
So for now, I have a plan, and the green light to try again. And that is something to be grateful for.
