I have been waiting for this day- lab day, for 54 days. It’s been 54 days since I found out that I would miscarry again. All I’ve been able to do is wait. If something comes back out of range with my labs, maybe we can treat it or supplement before becoming pregnant again. If my lab work looks fine, maybe it really was just bad luck that I had two miscarriages back to back. We’ve had to prevent conception these last 54 days and will continue to prevent until we are given the OK from Dr. C. It’s been hard to do that, but if I have to be honest, it’s been a nice break at the same time. Trying to conceive for months upon months after loss is really exhausting. We’ve taken this time to really just enjoy life without the stress of TTC. Tony started school and clinical hours again a couple of weeks ago, and has had to spend many late nights in the sleep lab training undergrad students. I have worked an overtime incentive contact with my NICU- working an extra shift every week for 4 weeks for incentive pay. Between my lack of energy and the stress of the new year for Tony, it’s been hard to find out balance these last few weeks. 
But back to lab day. CMP, CBC, Lipid panel, hemoglobin A1c, magnesium, TSH, progesterone, homocysteine, fasting insulin (I’m starving!) HSCRP, Vitamin B12, Vitamin D25 OH. I hear it costs about $500 out of pocket for this work up because insurance doesn’t cover elective lab work. And even though I’ve lost two babies and am at risk to lose a third, this is still considered “elective.”
Still, I’m thankful. Most doctors do not even start a work up until after your third miscarriage. I can’t IMAGINE having to try again without knowing something more about what is going on inside me. Just try again and hope for the best? Not my style. I know too much, and Google is much to available for my late night “what if?” moments. I’m thankful to be doing this today- to have this information by Monday of next week and to possibly be one step closer to knowing what, if anything, is wrong. 
After lab work, I’ll head home and pick out my Notre Dame gear of choice for the first tailgate of the 2016 football season. It’s been 5 years of Notre Dame football for me. 5 years of tailgating and reunions with friends who live all over the country. Of course it is hot and humid with a chance of dangerous storms in today’s predictions- typical first game weather. I need a good tailgate today. Yesterday at work I cried for the 3rd time on the clock as a NICU nurse in 6 years. I’m not sure if I have gotten softer in 6 years, or if my own personal losses have made the tears that much easier to cry. I ran to the bathroom and sat on the floor and let out a few sobs, composed myself and then headed back to the bedside. It was a rough week.
So to the tailgate, I go! But first, lab work.
